7 Tips for the Solo Female Traveler

From time to time, I find myself traveling solo, primarily for work. Regardless of whether I'm familiar with my travel destination, my senses are still heightened because of the perceived vulnerabilities of women alone. Over the years I’ve developed some useful tips and tricks when traveling alone.

1. No first floor rooms. Many hotels offer rooms on the first floor. From a security perspective, I avoid first floor rooms at all cost. The first floor may seem convenient, but the reality is that it possess many security threats, including multiple entry points into your room. Think about windows, doors and balconies. Before arriving at a hotel, either research the hotel to understand whether first floor rooms are offered and specifically request a room on any floor other than the first floor.

2. Request a room near the elevator. Ask for a room near the elevator. Be careful to specify that you do not want the room next to the elevator, due to increased noise, but you want to be fairly close to the elevator. You don’t want to have to walk down long corridors alone, it’s unsafe and scary.

3. No room near stairwell exits. These doors are frequently remain unlocked and are usually accessible starting at the lobby with no true security. Meaning a guest or non-guest can walk into the lobby and access a stairwell have access to all floors of guest rooms.

4. Request two room keys. By requesting two keys, it gives the illusion that you are not in fact a long.

5. Request non-adjoining rooms. On a recent solo trip to San Francisco, I had a room with two adjoining room doors. Obviously this was not an ideal situation, but to mitigate the concern I placed the luggage rack and my luggage against one of the two door. Sometimes mitigation is the only option you've got.

6. Request a room on a different floor as the gym, pool or club. Random people up and down corridors at all times of the day is not refreshing. And it’s definitely not safe.

7. Be smart. Do not broadcast via verbally or on social media about your solo travel plans. Hotel staff always ask why your traveling, don’t be afraid to lie. I do! I’ll say business and my husband is tagging along.

Solo traveling can be empowering, exhilarating and stressful simultaneously. Just be smart, pay attention to your surrounding and have a wonderful time.

A Mother’s Work is Never Done: International Travel with a Sick Spouse and a Sick Baby

Because I'm an overachiever, I decided that my son’s first trip out of the state of Texas should be to an international destination, Puerto Vallarta to be exact. It seemed easy enough, plan in advance and take all of the baby ammo needed, i.e., diapers, wipes, toys, pack and play, food pouches, clothes, etc. Because I am also a planner, I ordered and received all of the necessary baby travel related items prior to departure - with the exception of the food pouches which were delayed in transit and received upon our return back to the states – side eye Amazon Prime 2-Day Guaranteed Shipping. Otherwise we were locked and loaded and ready to go! 

The best laid plans.

Two days before departure, my husband was diagnosed with a sinus infection requiring antibiotics. Prior to the diagnoses, my husband thought it a good idea to share his uncovered sneezes with the family. Considering my son had recently completed a round of antibiotics for a sinus infection at the beginning of the week, I was pissed and distressed. But at this point I was still unshaken. 

The day before departure, I had a jam-packed day at work – meetings with various high level executives and a mile long to do list. At 8:40 AM, my phone rang and it was the school. I was in the middle of a negotiation, but this was my child so I picked up, assuming I would be notified that my child had scratched himself or some other insignificant act had occurred. Unfortunately, I didn't hear the words that I had expected, i.e., Michael is okay, but we wanted to inform you...insert minor or insignificant item here. Rather the voice on the other end informed that my child had a 101.8 temperature and had to be picked up immediately. I dropped everything. My husband was able to secure an appointment with our pediatrician and I whisked him off to the doctor. 

After a brief examination, it was quickly determined that he just had a cold. The pediatrician gave the green light for Puerto Vallarta. (A few months prior she had given the red light for the zoo, so I think she was trying to make it up.)

 That night, my son was mopey and clingy - both very uncharacteristic. I agonized all night whether we should stay in town or go to Mexico. The next morning, I decided that if anything went wrong that it was only a two-hour flight back home. 

So we went. As it turns out the fever, the mopiness and the clinginess were induced by his two front teeth pushing through. By Saturday, he was back to being a happy healthy baby and fun was had by all. 

 Fun was ultimately had by all, but mommy was exhausted beyond measure having to take care of a sick husband and baby while in a foreign country. And as expected, mommy returned home with a sinus infection.   

Diapering: Boys v. Girls

Diapering, like anything associated with babies, can be a controversial topic. There are those squarely in the cloth diapering camp while others are firmly settled in the disposable diapering camp. Selection of cloth versus disposable diapers is a family decision; there is not right or wrong answer. This article does not address the cloth versus disposable diaper debate. Furthermore, this article is not an endorsement of any brand; rather, this article is based on my personal experiences and opinion. 

For me, bodily fluids are not my strong suit, so disposing of said bodily fluids as quickly and as efficiently as possible was critical to my decision in selecting disposable diapers for my children. Although I made my selection based on convenience and minimal amount of grossness, I applaud cloth diaper mommies. 

Disposable diapers are marketed as being unisex. But, girls and boys are anatomically different - boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. So, when it comes to diapering babies, one size does not fit all. As the mother of two - a boy and a girl - I quickly figured out that Pampers were good for my son while Huggies worked best for my daughter.

Boys

At the time of my son's birth, everyone, including the hospital, swore that Pampers were the best option. As a first time mom, not knowing any better I went with the recommendation. Once I figured out how to prevent his urine from coming out of the top of the diaper, the Pampers Snugglers were a solid option. Although he would occasionally have a blow out, he never had diaper rash. As he grew and got more mobile, we switched to Pampers Cruisers. Overall, I was satisfied and he was comfortable.

However, when it came to potty training, the Pampers Easy Ups were not getting the job done. He would always wake up soaked in urine. So, I switched to Huggies Pull Ups. While the Huggies Pull Ups were a much better options, training pants, regardless of brand, are not diapers. Meaning they cannot hold as much urine. However, for me the Huggies Pull Ups could hold significantly more urine than Pampers Easy Ups. 

Finally, there are swimming diapers. Our son started swimming lessons rather early. As we were on the Pampers bandwagon for traditional diapering, obviously Pampers Splashers were our first option. No complaints with the Pampers Splashers. As my son got older and was potty trained, we switched to cloth diapers for cautionary purposes only. 

Girls

As I used Pampers for my son, I assumed Pampers were the gold standard for disposable diapering options. When my daughter was born, I was heavily invested in Pampers; however, the hospital where she was born (and where my son was born) had changed its preference from Pampers to Huggies. After asking the hospital staff about the rationale for the change, it was revealed that it came down to cost - Pampers were more expensive than Huggies. 

Upon discharge from the hospital, I switched my daughter to the tried and true Pampers Swaddlers. Immediately, i had difficulty getting the Pamper to fit her as snuggly - there was significant gapping in the front near her naval. Additionally, the bulkiness of the diaper always poked out from underneath onesie. I tried different sizes of Pampers and even switched from Pampers Swaddlers to Pampers Dry Fit, but to no avail. So, we switched back to Huggies Little Snugglers. After the switch, I examined the Huggies Little Snugglers to determine why they fit her better. I noticed: (1) Huggies uses an elastic ban to ensure a better fit regardless of Babies shape; (2) in the back, there is a built in flap, which catches poop leading to less massive blow outs; and (3) the Huggies are simply cut different, especially around the legs. 

For swimming, I am testing the waters with disposable diapers. So far, I have no complaints, but she has yet to relieve herself in the pool. Fingers crossed that never happens. 

As an aside, both Pampers and Huggies have loyalty programs. I personally prefer the Pampers loyalty program as all you have to do in the app is input or take pictures of codes provided on the packaging. Huggies requires you to take a picture of the receipt, which is not practical - it's just another piece of paper to keep up with. 

Happy diapering! 

Spa-ing Around the World

When vacationing in exotic locations, setting aside time to relax and be pampered in the hotel Spa is a welcomed treat. When "spa-ing" on vacation, one imagines a unique luxurious experience - we have spa-ed on the beach in the Dominican Republic, on the banks of Sabie River in South Africa while enjoying the melodious tunes of nearby hippopotamus', and cliff side overlooking the Papagayo Peninsula in Costa Rica. While we have had some amazing vacation Spa experiences, we have also had our share of sub-par experiences. The following Lesson's Learned will hopefully assist you in a successful vacation Spa experience.

1. Research. Assess the Hotel and Spa prior to arrival. Obviously, if you booked in a lower Hotel class, then the Spa, if there is one, will likely provide services and amenities in line with said Hotel class. Bottom line, do not expect the Four Season Spa if you are staying at the Best Western - be realistic.

Look at traveler reviews of the Spa, if any. Obviously, relying on traveler reviews requires discernment on your end; however, if enough people have positive or negative things to say, consider the veracity of those reviews and heed warnings or advice.

2. Never book a Spa appointment until you have reached your hotel and had an opportunity to do preliminary recognizance. Meaning, check out the Spa prior to booking services.

On a recent trip to Jamaica, we failed to fully vet the Sap. As a result, our experience was average at best. The Spa itself was old and in need of significant updates and nearby renovation noise could be heard during our treatment. Had we actually, visited the Spa and asked for a tour prior to our treatment, we would have likely passed on the Spa.

3. Inquire about the most sought after Massage Therapist. Typically, Massage Therapists are "popular" for a reason. Asking who is in highest demand will not hurt, but you may be stonewalled.

As mentioned above, do your research. Often times, online traveler reviews will provide Therapist names - both good and bad.

4. Ask if there are any unique treatment experiences. For example, if you are at a hotel located on the beach, the hotel may offer treatment beach side or outside at the minimum.

Spa-ing while vacationing can be relaxing, yet expensive. To ensure you are getting the most value, a little recognizance can save you lots of disappointment adn money. Happy Spa-ing.

 

Successfully Attend Sporting Events with Toddler in Tow

We recently took our son to his first Oklahoma Sooners football game at Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium in Norman, Oklahoma. While fun was had by all, the planning and logistics leading up to the game was intense. Not only did I have to plan travel, lodging and transportation, I also had to understand the does and don'ts of entering a sports stadium with a toddler.

Unlike an airplane, sports stadiums have fluid rules. Meaning, the stadium may have stringent rules, bag policies and more. Additionally, ticket attendants may be sticklers for rules or may be more relaxed and understanding. Imagine an uncontrollable toddler screaming their head off because they can't take their favorite sippy cup into the stadium.

Bottom line, there are lots of unknowns when entering sports stadiums. Appropriately planning and building flexibility into your psyche will go a long way.

1. Stadium policies. Most stadiums have rules or policies governing appropriate and inappropriate items which can be brought into the stadium. Find them, read them and understand them.

Among the numerous prohibited items in Sooner Stadium are strollers and backpacks. However, the stadium allowed diaper bags and reasonably sized purses. Our diaper bag was a backpack. Because I am a planner, we stored an actual "diaper bag" in our car, just in case were were denied entry. Fortunately, the ticketing attendants were amazing and unfazed by the backpack diaper bag.

2. Noise canceling headphones. The decibel levels in sports stadium can be harsh to babies or toddler ears. To relieve irritation and prevent hearing loss, invest in baby/toddler noise canceling headphones. While the prospect of wearing the headphones may initially annoy your little one, the volume within the stadium will likely cause your child to welcome the headphones with open arms.

3. General toddler supplies. Don't leave home without your typical baby/toddler supplies - diapers, wipes, a change of cloths (at least one), cup/bottle, a distraction item, jacket/blanket, etc.

4. Environmental Supplies. Understand the stadium environment and the weather. From a weather perspective, remember sunscreen, mosquito repellent, mittens, hats, etc. Also consider the stadium environment, meaning if everyone stands the entire game make sure your little one wears appropriate footwear.

5. Remember the tickets. Understand whether your child needs a ticket before you arrive in game day. At Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium, every entrant must have a ticket regardless of age. For us, although our toddler was going to either sit on our laps or be in our arms, we had to purchase a full priced ticket for him.

6. Select the right game. Consider selecting a non-conference, non-rivalry, low profile game. We selected a non-conference game - Tulane. It was great because fans were relaxed and the Stadium was not to capacity.

7. Fans. Everyone will not think you toddler is as cute and cuddly as you. During our game experience, our toddler was fascinated by the two gentlemen sitting in front of us. He was so fascinated, that he wanted to constantly pat the men on the back. Well the two gentlemen were anti-baby and very unfriendly, which was even more appealing to our son. We had to be creative in order to prevent our son from interacting with these gentlemen. 

Remember, the game is only a few hours. Try to have fun and go with the flow. You and your child will likely never forget the experience for one reason or another.
 

9 Tips to Traveling with a Toddler

Traveling can be a highly stressful experience. Traveling with a small child can be challenging and rewarding, awkward and adventurous, and embarrassing and emotional. Know that your tiny person is a person, with their own wants, desires and opinions – meaning your plan may not align with their plan. Keep calm, carry on and follow these tips.

1.     Try to schedule travel around nap time or bed time

I must admit, trains, planes and automobiles are exciting for children – new environment, new people, and new adventure. All of your child’s sensory functions (sight, sound, smell and touch) will be challenged. However, at some point sleep will take over and the excitement will fade as your little one drifts off to sleep. Unfortunately, if you have a well-rested child, sleep will not be in your foreseeable future.

Although this is solid advice, we have chosen to shy away from this advice. We booked a trip from the U.S. to Asia departing at 9 AM. Meaning, our child will be wide awake for most of the trip. Although the trip is not until November, I am mentally (and physically) preparing. I’m relying on the next couple of tips to help me make it through our 20 hour journey.

2.     Snacks-galor

Children are sovereign individuals with their own thoughts, wishes and desires – I cannot stress this enough. It is possible, and highly probably, that the offerings in the terminal, on the airplane or train may not appease your little one. Bring several snack options – preferably snacks, which are tried and true. We usually bring a couple puff/dried cereal options and several varieties of age appropriate pouches.

Also, consider bringing a bib (especially a sleeved bib), a snack container with easy access and disposable place mats.

3.     Beverages

It is possible that terminals, airplanes or trains may not be able to accommodate your child’s beverage needs – plan ahead. If your child is a milk fanatic, PLEASE bring as much milk as you can to the airport.

On a recent trip from Mexico to Houston, our child had a major breakdown surrounding the lack of availability of milk – our child’s coveted drink of choice. After going from shop to shop and restaurant to restaurant inquiring about milk, I was pointed to the bar – which had a line as far as the eye could see. So, I decided to get milk on the airplane – because don’t all American airlines carry milk. I quickly learned that while flights may offer coffee, that doesn’t mean they offer milk. Our flight had no milk. We had to calm and distract our outrageously pissed off little one until he finally fell asleep agitated and disappointed.

From that point forward, I travel with milk in a box (a juice box). While not as nutritious as actual milk, it gets the job done.

4.     Lovey

A lovey is a child’s comfort object. If your child has a preferred stuffed animal or blanket, consider bringing it or a substitute version. Our child has recently developed the need to use a blanket as a pillow for naps and bedtime. On a recent trip, we boarded the plane with the blanket in our carry-on, which was stored in the overhead bin. We figured, we’d have plenty of time to retrieve said blanket once the fasten seat belt sign was off. Unfortunately for us, the fasten seat belt sign remained illumined for 89% of the flight time due to unexplained turbulence. For the entire flight, we had to rationalize with a deliriously pissed off 18 month old. He finally fell asleep, then the fasten seat belt sign was turned off and we retrieved the blanket.

Whatever comforts your child, please bring a version of it with you AND store it on your person – not in the overhead storage compartment or in checked luggage. Actually, buy several of the same “lovey” to ensure if it is lost, stolen, misplaced or dirty, that you have a backup and can avoid crisis.

5.     Toys

Do not bring toys that make noise, this is the fastest way to make permanent enemies of your fellow passengers. Consider coloring books, triangular crayons (avoids rolling), stickers (gel cling stickers), puzzles, bubbles, stacking cups, cars/trucks, books, etch-a-sketch.

6.     Diapers

You will not find diapers in the airport. If by some miracle you do find diapers in an airport, you will pay an exorbitant fee. So, bring an overabundance of diapers. I repeat bring an overabundance of diapers. 1 diaper per hour of travel time is usually a recommended practice. So, for a 14 hour flight, bring 14 diapers at minimum.

If your child is “potty trained” be prepared for possible regression. Bring pull ups, extra undies and extra cloths. Also, for a potty trained child consider bringing the portable toilet seat.

7.     Sippy Cups

I always travel with two (2) sippy cups – one for milk and the other for water. It is not always possible to rinse out a cup, so having one dedicated to milk will ensure no juice milk mixture.

8.     Change of Clothes

We always bring at least two (2) complete changes of clothes for our little one when traveling. Depending on our travel duration, we may bring a total of (4) complete changes of clothes.

On a recent local trip, we failed to follow this advice. We hopped in the car and handed our son a spoutless sippy cup full of water. The spoutless suppy cup is “completely spill-proof,” so of course we did not hesitate in handing him the cup. When we arrived at our destination, his shirt was completely soaked. Apparently, our toddler either figured out how to de-spill-proof the cup or he spit all the water out on to his shirt. Whatever the case may be, we had to find a store and purchase a new shirt. Heed my warning: never leave home without a change of clothes for your child.

My husband and I both carry an outfit change when possible as well.

9.     Screen-time & Headphones

Every parent is different and every parent has their own philosophy regarding screen time. The American Pediatrics Associations recommends the following:

• Babies younger than 18 months – No screen time

• 18 months to 2 years – Avoid solo screen, limit screen time to one hour per day, and only view quality-programming, i.e., Sesame Street.

• 2 to 5 years – Limit screen time to one hour per day and only view quality programming.

We take a more conservative approach. Our son (almost 2 years old) rarely has any screen time – perhaps he sees a screen once a week for a maximum of 20 minutes. However, desperate times often call for desperate measures. If he is uncontrollably spazing out in public, we occasionally turn on music on our phones and may ever allow him to watch.

In preparation for trips, make sure your smart devices are loaded with baby appropriate music and videos. If all else fails, screen-time will likely save the day. Don’t forget the headphones or ear buds – fellow passengers will likely resent hearing the ABC song 20 times.

Hopefully you can learn from our mistakes and avoid our mishaps. Happy travels.

5 Tips for Preparing for the Inevitable - Aging Parents

It only takes a moment for your independent healthy parent to transition to being dependent with health concerns. Meaning the roles can instantly reverse - the parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent. Being prepared for the transition can save you and your parent lots of time, money and heartache.

For me, the transition came swiftly and was completely unexpected. Doing a routine activity, my mother tripped, fell, injured her spinal cord, and had to have emergency surgery, followed by six (6) weeks of inpatient rehabilitation. I was caught off guard and completely unprepared. I had no plan.

Fortunately for me, the accident had no effect on my mother cognitively, so she was able to direct me to important documents and remind me of important names, dates, etc. However, the ordeal taught me an invaluable lesson – I needed to be prepared the next time. The below five (5) tips are not exhaustive nor are they mandatory. The below tips should be molded based on your situation and circumstances. However, I highly suggest you and your parent(s) think about the inevitable.

1. Have the hard conversations. No one wants to think or talk about his or her mortality; however, mortality is inevitable. Have the hard conversation. Parents need to be clear about their wants and desires. Children need to listen and respect their parent’s wishes.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who is integral in her father’s life and health care decisions. Her father has always been candid regarding his desires – if and when he gets ill. Unfortunately, her father has not had the same candid conversation with his other daughter. When the time comes, without him having an advanced directive, there will likely be turmoil between the two sisters.

Bottom line, parents need to have the candid conversation with ALL of their children, preferably at the same time. Additionally, parents should also have an advanced directive to ensure their wishes are met. Honor your parent’s wishes.

2. Important Documents.

Important documents include driver’s licenses, social security cards, medical insurance cards, Medicare cards, life insurance policies, etc. Know where all-important documents are, whether in a safety deposit box or in a drawer in your parents home or with a lawyer. Knowing where to find important documents will save you a lot time in the event of an emergency.

Make sure you have copies or scanned versions of all of your parent’s important documents.  Consider keeping a scanned copy in a readily accessible medium, i.e., email or Dropbox.

3. Understand benefits. Both you and your parent need to have a comprehensive understanding of private medical insurance and/or Medicare coverage. For example, if your parent has private insurance and is over 65 with Medicare Part A coverage, then Medicare Part A serves as supplemental insurance in certain circumstances.

Having a firm grasp of these benefits will save you a lot of time and money. If you need an explanation of benefits, there are numerous resources online. Also consider asking the care provider for assistance in understanding your benefits. When my mom was admitted into the hospital, the hospital financial office was a plethora of information. Considering the hospital financial office deals with private insurance and Medicare on a daily basis, they truly enlightened me regarding my mother’s benefits. I even received advice regarding when my mother should apply for Medicare Part B and C and supplemental insurance options.

Bottom line, know the benefits but don't be afraid to ask for assistance.

4. Have access. All children should not automatically have access and signature authority on their parent’s accounts. Rather, parents need to make a determination of which child or children are responsible enough (and financially independent enough) to handle the parent’s finances.

This may be a difficult conversation to have with your parent. Have the conversation early when your parent is healthy both physically and cognitively. Additionally, do not take your parents decision personally - it's not about you. Leave your ego and your feelings at the door.

Also, make sure to have access to your parent’s home, cars, etc.

5. Estate planning. Please encourage your parents to visit an attorney to draft and execute estate planning documents - will, advanced directives, etc.

Again, this is a personal decision for your parents. Do not take your parents decision personally - it's not about you. It's about your parent’s wishes. Again, as adult children being economically independent is crucial. One good rule of thumb, I've always lived by is to that if my parents decided to leave 100% of their estate to charity, then my life would not be impacted because I have independently developed my own wealth.

If your parents have sufficiently planned their estate, this cuts down on the questions and uncertainty.

Additionally, life insurance should be discussed and considered.

I hope this advice helps you make a plan.